All right, there has been something on my mind for the last long while. It has nagged at me, especially since I moved back to the city and saw this every day, I feel like a dam that is going to burst if I do not vent this frustration with this particular trend anywhere. The fact of the matter is:

I hate skinny jeans on men.

Yes, this is a fashion trend. Gah!

Just posting that picture up there has made me feel sick to my stomach.

Skinny leg, low-cut jeans on men is a fashion trend that I cannot follow in good conscience, and there is some damning evidence for it as well. First off, I’ve seen this one around for most of the 2000′s (I always get confused in what to call this decade – the 2000′s? The Zeros? The Naughties?), and the first place I saw it? Women. I can admit, a woman in one of these jeans doesn’t look too bad. Maybe they look a little more fragile in these ones, more like a stiff breeze could break their legs, and I think it may encourage the anorexic/bulimic look, but if you have the body for it and it works for your fashion sense, go for it. There is some women that genuinely can rock out this look.

Note I only say some women.

Some fashion designer, in whatever infinite wisdom they use (insert very sarcastic eye-rolling motions here), decided that this look would be perfect for males. And voila. A trend is born.

Problem is… it looks ass-ugly.

I have no problems with some things being unisex. The hooded sweatshirt, for example, is a good example. I think females look good in one – granted, they look even better when wearing mine after a night of… okay, let us not go there – and it is an acceptable thing. Guys’ ties is something that some people are using as a fashion trend on females – a hint, it only looked good on Avril Lavigne for about two years and she stopped wearing it too. Some of the long hairstyles that made it over from females to males I can stand, as well.

Definitely not this one, Justin. Glad you cut it, or else you would be getting a subscription to Ass Pirate Monthly.

But these jeans that is the focus of this post… just… NO!

Unisex is great, but when I hear stories about men interchanging their pants with their girlfriend and wearing their girlfriend’s pants… that is just stepping over a line. (Yes, I have heard that one, from a male who was proud of this fact. Scared me to no end.)  It almost seems that society is trying to castrate men – first the mustache falls out of favor, then male manicures, and now this?!? – and leave us with effeminate males. If I was a conspiracy nut, I would say that a group of hardcore feminists are in control of the fashion world and trying to strike back at males for centuries of oppression, and it was a subtle way of striking fear into those that are male, and proud to be male. I am not, so I will just say it is disturbing.

Why am I speaking up now? Actually, I have told this to the face of several men, whom have just shrugged it off. The one that I mentioned earlier that swapped pants from his girlfriend told me that she thought it was hot. To be fair, I knew both of them, and I always thought they were both semi-freaks of nature as-is. Is this anti-masculinity as a trend, or is that the little paranoid voice in my head that feels that it is perfectly logical to buy a shack in the middle of the woods, three rifles, enough ammo to declare World War 3 and foodstuffs to last a nuclear holocaust talking and saying that?

Yeah, but does it have a good 'Net connection?

Of course, it could just be that fashion is inherently stupid. I mean, have you ever actually watched any of the reality shows where they are competing to be fashion designers? I would not want any of them on a remote desert island with me, and they would be the first ones sacrificed for food if that were the case – a fashionable roast, anyone? – so I tend to agree with that. So really, we are trusting trending to come from these people?

I guess I will just have to live with the fact that men want to be emasculated. The more we buy these clothes, the more plentiful they become in the Gaps, the Old Navys, the Off The Walls, or wherever people buy clothing. I am just wondering when it will be fashionable for men to wear skirts and dress like 80′s hookers… and not be in drag. Maybe never. Maybe in ten years. Maybe we will all look like extras from the Rocky Horror Picture Show in five years. Who really knows?

All I know? I am not going to be doing the Time Warp again. Even if it is just a jump to the left… and then a step to the right.